And It’s mine, this pain in my heart is all mine
Ten years ago today, everything changed. Ten years ago today, I was struggling with an unhealthy work environment. I’d been trying to make it work for nearly 4 years, and was failing miserably. I cried every single day in the parking lot before starting my work day. Ten years ago today, I lay crying in…
Dark clouds, hard times, bad weather, Please don’t make this last forever
Today I got the news that you’re gone. I wasn’t sure I understood it correctly. When I got the message, I was hoping with all that I am, that she would tell me it was the puppy that passed. I know it sounds cruel, but I wanted it to be the puppy. I could cope…
Too much time on my hands – I’ve got you on my mind
My feels have taken control and I need to get it all out before it eats me alive. As much as I dislike facing my sadness and grief, I’ve come to realize that I have to accept it, give it space to exist, and to hope that I’m strong enough to process all these intense…
Outlaws and Outsiders
So, quite clearly I’m terrible about writing for my processing. Partly because I’m lazy and mostly because, even though I created this space for me to process my life experiences, I’ve been avoiding that which does not spark joy in me. In hindsight, this was probably not the most thought-out strategy. At least that’s what…
Woohoo, Witchy Woman
I’ve been pretty open about my faith for a couple of decades now, though what and how I practice has morphed over time. As such, it’s not uncommon for me to get questions about it. Over the course of the pandemic, I’ve had an unusually high number of people reach out to me with questions…
I’m not sure if I should say this, fuck I’ll say it anyway
It’s been three weeks. I’m still struggling. I get so irrationally angry so quickly right now. I’m having what should be amazing experiences in my life and my career, that I can’t even celebrate because being happy when I’m still so sad is the most wicked torment I’ve experienced. Things I’ve been working toward for…
All You Get to Keep is All You Shared
It’s been two weeks and I just want this fucking ride to stop. The speed with which I flit from emotion to emotion is exhaustingly excessive. Add my natural-born ADHD, and I can’t calm my mind long enough to process jack shit. Music helps to keep everything from exploding, but I can’t think it through.…
In Memoriam
It’s been 5 days. On Monday we went to the funeral home. As expected, I deployed my defenses – inappropriate comments and dark humor. The funeral home person was trying to help with starting an obituary. She said sometimes it’s easier for families if they answer some standard questions and build a draft obit. This…
For Whom the Bell Tolls
Last night at 10:40 PM, my sister’s decades-long war with severe alcoholism has ended. The disease ravaged her viciously and completely and has left a trail of broken hearts in its wake. She’s finally at peace and we have to figure out how to carry on. #FuckAddiction
Alcoholism & Addiction Can F*ck Off
First and foremost, please be advised that this post could be a trigger for anyone dealing with alcoholism, addiction, loss, grief, end if life care, and death. Do not allow morbid curiosity to place you in a space where you’re harming yourself. You can always come back and learn later. Take care of yourself. Also,…
Something went wrong. Please refresh the page and/or try again.
Follow My Blog
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.
Why is Life Like That, Why am I Like That? 