The shenanigans! All the shenanigans! Just about every time I get ready to sit down and try to process whatever monstrosity of a cluster fuck just occurred in the world, more shenanigans are added to the mix and my processing starts all over. We’ve hit the point where all of the shenanigans has turned into complete and constant sensory overload. Quarantine has decimated any level of control I once held over my ADD, so it’s become very overwhelming to try to process worldly events and to interact with anyone in any meaningful way.
Today I’m trying to push through the dense muck of thoughts, in an attempt to focus on one in particular because it hits my feels on numerous levels. It started with This article on an excerpt from Ready Player Two, which has garnered a reaction from the LGTBQ+ community.
Clearly I cannot speak for trans persons or their community, as I cannot even begin to imagine their journey and their needs. That said, part of me thinks that Ernest is getting a more intense reaction from the community because of the relatively recent and devastating realizations about J.K. Rowling. I could be completely off the mark on that – I don’t pretend to be any sort of an expert at all. I do worry about how the reaction could potentially negatively impact budding allies and activists.
In case anyone else is actually reading this mess of tangled thought, for some clarification without giving the article or the story away, there is a portion of the story where a character ponders non-binary sex. Ernest has received a lot of backlash from the community as a result. This is what’s set off my processing needs.
I don’t feel that Ernest Cline was malicious in his intent. I think he meant to normalize the issues, recognize that personal growth occurs, and present it as an opportunity to be accepting of others. Again I could be totally off, but I truly believe he meant well.
I’m bothered that there seem to be a lot of comments about being tone deaf and not understanding the issues, but I don’t see many comments educating him and followers as to why it’s an issue. How is anyone supposed to learn and grow if they don’t get an education? If someone doesn’t understand the concern, and nobody takes the time to explain it, how are they able to adjust and modify their behavior?
I know many people say that it’s not up to the trans community to educate others on these issues. We live in the world of the internet; they should be able to figure it out. But that assumes that everyone has been taught how to research. I think we’ve learned over the course of 2020 that many, many people clearly do not know how to research. Nobody taught them or they’ve had no need to research anything outside of a high school report. If they’ve even hit that level of research capability. Certainly some actively choose not to learn, but others just truly don’t know how.
I also worry about people trying to learn about trans issues from cis-persons. While I try to be a good ally and I advocate for the community, I am not even remotely qualified to speak in any level of detail to the issues that trans-persons face. (I know – so why not blog about it? I think we’ve already established that I’ve got some issues.) People mean well, but they can create concerning situations. You know – kind of like the one we’re looking at right now.
I’m hugely concerned that the severity of the backlash at Ernest, when to outsiders it looks like he was trying to do something good, will result in potential allies and advocates withdrawing and choosing not to participate in trans issues. I worry they will fear an accidental offense resulting in negative reaction. Nobody wants to experience the wrath of the internet, especially if they were trying to produce some good in the first place. I want to see more trans allies and more trans advocates. The world needs more trans allies and advocates. I don’t want brutality of the internet to scare prospects away.
I understand and can appreciate that the trans community is tired. They don’t want to explain any more. I recognize it’s exhausting and frequently anxiety-inducing. I’ve cut people from my own life because I am simply too exhausted to try to educate them and continually face their intolerance, bigotry, prejudice, and bias. Trying to bring someone up to speed when all you see is continued disregard for the information you’re trying to impart is disenchanting and demotivating. I don’t have to deal with these issues on a daily basis, multiple times per day as trans-persons do, and I’m fed up. I realize that I utilized my privilege and tagged out. Trans persons are not afforded such luxury. They don’t get to step aside and be done with it. They don’t get to wash their hands of the ignorance and hate. They are far stronger that I will ever be. So I can’t and don’t fault them for not wanting to keep attempting to educate and finally giving in and telling people to figure it out themselves. I can only begin to imagine how terribly fucking tired you must be, and my heart breaks for you.
I’m very lucky. I have several trans friends that I can talk to and ask questions of. They can help focus me and help direct my advocacy and ally-ship. And when I fuck up, because I am but a mere mortal and I do fuck up, they gently correct me. They don’t ridicule me, They don’t chastise me. They don’t embarrass me. They don’t belittle me. They don’t try to harm me or punish me for my mistake. They understand that my heart means well and I will periodically need help learning and growing. I hope that Ernie has such kind and helpful trans-persons in his life that can help him to get him to a place of understanding so that he can do better in the future. In helping Ernie to understand, others will be helped along in their understanding as well.
I’m sorry that we live in a world where this is an issue. I’m sorry progress is so truly painfully slow. I’m sorry for all negativity trans-persons experience on the daily simply for existing. I desperately want this world to be a better place for you.
This process entry didn’t do shit to help me. I’m still bummed. I’m still worried. I still feel like there’s nothing I can do to help. I still feel like Ernie is getting an excessive wrath of shit without anyone really helping. I still don’t know how to explain why the excerpt was problematic in the first place. I’m still whiny and bitchy and overwhelmed. I’m still discouraged at the state of the world. I’m still sad for my trans friends with no idea how to help them. I have all of this well-meaning bottled up inside with no idea how to wield that power at all.
Welcome to the real world, I guess. It fucking sucks sometimes.
Why is Life Like That, Why am I Like That? 